How to Be Tough Past Your Insecurities

Insecurities are common when your journey is marked by uncertainty or there are expectations and trendsetters. Whether it is at work, in a relationship, a gathering, or meeting a person for the first time, sometimes your brain cannot help but bring forth checkboxes to judge where and how you do or do not fit in. Insecurities are linked to mental health and are often a sign that you do not believe in yourself enough or you do not trust the process or the person that you are dealing with. Often, insecurities arise from intrapersonal communication where the inner voice is more concerned about our flaws and how we cannot match up to others or be good enough.

Feeling insecure can be harmful and may have a long-lasting impact. There could be a gap between how we feel about ourselves or our situation and reality. Insecurities are basically negative assumptions about ourselves and unless we close that gap between reality and those assumptions, relationships can be ruined and opportunities may be lost. We self-destruct. Where we struggle to believe in ourselves, we sometimes turn to others for validation. Not the best way to go about it I should say. What happens when the people we seek validation from are not in the mood to help anyone or they are just unavailable? Doing our best to be tough can save us from possible heartaches and regrets.

Being tough past your insecurities may require you to;

Ask yourself where your self-critic stems from – one of the most important steps to finding a solution to a problem is finding its roots. What is causing it? In recent years, social media has been a source of insecurities for many. Users have created a ‘reality’ of their own which got people questioning their looks. To deal with insecurities resulting from such, one can choose to avoid social media or choose to see only content specific to their interests.

Do not be quick to speak or act – relationships have been ruined due to insecurities. It is easy for an insecure person to misjudge situations based on how they feel about themselves, a loser in most cases. They assume that other people share the same perceptions about them. Mistakes and other events can easily be linked to those perceptions thereby creating a problem that does not exist in reality. For such people, it is better to not act or speak quickly. Wait until you have enough information to discuss an issue and when you think you are ready to talk, do so calmly as someone who seeks more understanding rather than someone who knows everything and is ready to fight.

Fix up where possible – if you can, fix whatever is making you insecure. Identify what is lacking and work on it. Improve your skills if you do not feel confident at work by practicing more or doing more research. Ask questions where you need to. However, fixing up can also include realizing your worth. Trying to find your place wherever you are. This will require you to stand your ground and stand up for what you believe in. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Grab opportunities and make sure your presence is felt. You could be just a feeling away from your dream job or relationship.

Embrace it – this is one of the best ways to deal with insecurities depending on what they are. Not everything can or should be fixed. Embrace who you are and believe that you are good enough the way you are. Some who are insecure about their bodies made the decision to change what they did not like about themselves and have lived to regret it. Trying to change things may not bring the change we expected while loving ourselves the way we are can bring true happiness. Accepting who or what you are can also change the way others see you and change the energy around you. You are enough the way you are and it is not your problem when someone is failing to see your value. There is someone or a company out there looking for the exact talent you have and someone looking for a partner like you.

Face your fears more often – as you learn to face your fears one after another, the room for insecurities is increasingly becoming smaller. You unleash your potential and realize how powerful you can be. As you get used to this and learn the best way of doing things, you gain confidence. Trust that others are beginning to notice you too. Understand that it is better to say a wrong answer or share a ‘weak point’ and be corrected or have someone develop it, respectively, than to be afraid to speak and never know how your contributions would have been received. Stand up and speak and you will soon realize it is all you needed to do all along. Soon you will be able to get your voice heard.